The Vale of Lune Veterans don't play very often, but when they do, it is a celebration of many of the best aspects of Rugby. Old teammates come together, whilst initiating new ones into the custom. Good-will, forged across decades, is maintained and updated. The experienced gentleman of Kendal Rugby Club make it an ideal setting for such a festival of sport and fun.

Triggered by the significant birthday of captain Karl Hanssen, a travelling entourage of forty-five players and former players, many with family in attendance, headed north into the chill, Westmorland sunshine to reignite old skills and re-establish old friendships. Twenty-one hardy Vale souls took to the field, some in customary positions and some showing admirable versatility. What a day for Shaun Stewart and Joe Hannsen to make their senior debuts in Vale colours. To head off any potential allegations of age-discrimination, the Vale fielded youngsters Karan Banga and Freddie Bartle to help Hanssen Jnr. to feel at home among the dinosaurs.

The first loft of the ball by a Kendal boot brought instant drama. Like a mesmerised, Antarctic penguin watching its first aeroplane, Phil Jackson tipped over and crocked his knee. It may count as the shortest Vale appearance in history. Undeterred, the Vale regrouped and operated as a tight and committed unit to watch Kendal run in their first try. It was the fourth one that triggered a response from the Vale as Aaron Melville dropped a three-pointer to make it look like some semblance of a contest.

There was no upper weight limit, so many jumbo-sized participants in yellow and black made their presence felt. Imagine a sveldt, honed, mature athlete in a number 11 Vale shirt repeatedly trying to stop a charging rhino. Soon, the battlefield sickbay became crowded. Vale players limped, were carried and others crawled to safety. Through the pain and indignity, they were smiling throughout. Notable performances were many but hooker Dan Blenkharn, staging several probing runs in midfield, shone through the fog of bewilderment.

A shirtless Mr Hanssen Snr. was seen on the pitch at one point, prompting a call to the South Lakes Wildlife Park to carry out an emergency stocktake. All primates accounted for, the game progressed with ever more Vale players wearing black and yellow socks during a complex 'rotation and exchange' programme. As the final whistle blew, the frantic, international, press entourage clamoured to hear the wisdom of hero of the hour, Phil 'ten seconds' Jackson. He said of his memorable performance; 'Like on my wedding night, it was short and sweet!'

The after-match hospitality was energetic and loud. Beer-oriented games ensued and communal singing became the order of the evening. Whilst Kendal had ruled on the pitch, the musical contribution was the realm of the visitors. The Vale's 'busker-in-chief' Phil Bartle serenaded the crowded lounge with a medley of the hits of yesteryear, and a smashing occasion was had by all. It is hoped that a return fixture can be arranged for March, when current injuries have been forgotten.

Team: Freddie Bartle, Dan Blenkharn, Phil Jackson, Karl Hanssen, Lee Farnworth, Ben Dobson, Bob Mudd, Adam Wood, Paul Scott, Aaron Melville, Karan Banga, Adam Elkin, Shaun Stewart, Ben Pye, Nigel Jones. Reps: Dave Moore, Mark Donohue, John Whitty, Dave Hughes, Gavin Kellet.